Heart of the Wolph

Green Tea

2010-03-01T21:39:00.001-08:00

This morning has proved to be a trying time in my life. I'm slowly weening off of coffee so I attempted to have green tea instead today. It Wasn't a total failure, however green tea just doesn't have the kick a cup of joe has.

This after noon I got Ro to start an english blog. How exciting now he can practice english and we can share our stories with everyone!

Complaining

2010-02-28T05:38:00.000-08:00

Today the topic of my Chaplains sermon was complaining. He conjured four different types of complainers in this world. One of these types of complainers was the "cynic", people who have a difficult time believing things will ever change.

"Life doesn't get any better then this", my mind reluctantly proclaims. Normally this statement is coerced amongst people who are straddling the peak of what this world has to offer. This statement for me though is a negative connotation referring to everyday life

What a glories time to be a child, no worries no fear, just having fun, finding things to do that will pass time. I wish so much to be a child again, what I would do for my only responsibility to school. To come home and play video games and wait for dad to get home. Ah yes, daddy coming home, the pinnacle of any child's day.

Howbeit such careless joy and bliss will never be within my reach again. That's the cynical aspect of my personality that I stifle. I feel the world wants me to be a happy and always positive man. Well some days aren't positive. Some weeks are hell and some months are full of suffering.

The only vindication that keeps me waking up every morning. Is that one glories day I will rise up to heaven and be father. How awesome is it that God gives us that hope. Just think about for a moment. God DID NOT have to give us the hope of eternal life. When we die that could have been it.

But it's not.

Heart Revived

2009-03-24T19:22:00.000-07:00

Walking through life's billows and mans open sores. God places his judgment on the man who looks up with curiosity in his lust for greater power over this world. The light that is gently laid upon that man's chest when the fury of reality settles is overwhelming . Man was not made for this world, he was made for life, knitted together to breath and experience love. Choirs of heavenly angels gather together to revive one soul at a time. To give us the passionate heart once lost by ancestors in the Eden. The heart that God originally placed in our bodies years ago. Every man thirsts for that original heart put together by the hands of God. For what greater love then the gift of love itself, given by a dad to his son.

A Walk Through Time

2008-08-08T22:41:00.000-07:00

Let's go on a walk through the pages written by my hand. Go ahead take my hand and slowly step out of your mind and into my thoughts. Beautiful, know let me show you the world through my eyes.

September 11th, 2001 - I just woke up from a dream to find reality has won once again. I see my room, and my old dresser that belonged to my mom when she was younger. I sat up and got dressed for school just like every other day of the year. As soon as my shoes were on I walked down the stairs while gripping the metal railing next to me. I grabbed a bite to eat before my mom drove me to school. I honestly don't remember a lot of the details up until a certain moment of time. Which unfortunately wasn't until after breakfast so you will never know what I ate that day.

It's eight in the morning and my mom pulls up to my elementary school in the white Oldsmobile. I walk out and in to my class room to set down my little backpack. I turned around and felt an uneasy vibe flowing throughout the room. I was beginning to wonder what was going on, but just than I caught a glimpse of a television set in the classroom. Why are we watching T.V. in the class? What's going on? So I took a closer look and saw and airplane crash into a skyscraper!

Okay so a airplane crashed into a skyscraper, why would we be watching it during class. Terrible events happen all the time, why is this on so special? Then I heard the word that sent a chill the devil himself could not even create, America.

My country, the one who has all the answers and all the power has been attacked! How could this be, what monster would do something so terrible. My mind became overwhelmed and I ran to the one place I knew I was safe. I locked myself inside a bathroom stall and began to pray, for the life's that were lost, and life's that now have to live without. Why oh why God would you let this happen! Why would you let this happen to America!

After sitting in silence for a while I began to really think about the words that were so thoughtlessly spewing out of my mouth. I've never asked God why he lets horrible things happen elsewhere. I've never even cared about what elsewhere is.

September 11th wasn't only a tragic day that will remain in our memories, it was also the day of a realization. A day that made a boy realize that America is not the only place in this world. That God is everywhere, and everywhere is were our hearts need to be.

(This story is inspired by true events, however some portions are fiction or exaggerated)

A New Day

2008-06-22T21:39:00.000-07:00

Every day is as struggle in it's own, a fire that must be put out daily. There is no single battle that must be won to prevail over sin or temptation. If the legs of our hearts buckle and we give in for but one second, it's not loss... It's a beginning, a time in which the sun rises and you have a new day to not fall into temptation and to not sin.

There is no such thing as "quitting" or "conquering", a sin or a bad habit for good. It's a day by day struggle that will never end. Even though how pessimistic that sounds it's actually quite comforting. Because we don't have to fear tomorrow, it's not the next day of a failure to be continued. No, it's a new beginning that God has blessed us with. As the sunsets our sins are forgotten, and as the sunrises our daddy wakes us up to start a new day.

It's a beautiful knowing that no matter how many times we may run away from home, out dad is still their with open arms.

Love Birthed from Rest

2008-04-19T19:53:00.000-07:00

While dreary fills the moonlit night, a hope falls shadow. The earth turns and life moves on, rest however will always provide. Love through life is life itself, love of life and life of love. The hard heart will smooth to melted butter, so love may intervene. Prayers untold and tears cried will be remembered, as will be kindness and forgiveness.

I pray my love will flow through a soften heart to the people I love. Life is busy. Will I forget my past or wander the future? No my life is here and now, breath by breath I lead a life. Whether that life is loving or of hardened heart, will be decided by humbleness and willingness to accept the invitation of rest.

The Realist

2008-03-26T12:45:00.000-07:00

Journeying through an endeavour of self reflection I have determined that in this last year, my personality has shifted from optimist to realist. This shift has slowly been taking place in my life, so slowly that up until approximately one month ago I was still under the impression I was an optimist.

I thank God that I'm a realist now. Some of you might be thinking why. Why would someone be happy going from a happy personality to a neutral one. The answer my friends is deeper then happiness. It's the joy of being able to use my mind to accomplish more then I had ever dreamed.

I'm now able to walk down the street and not think that everyone I see is a "good" person. Nor do I think every is a "bad" person (that type of personalty would be a pessimist). I have finally, after going between pessimism and optimism, settled down to a joyful medium.

At first, since I have mainly been an optimist all my life, I thought that the way I was currently perceiving life was bad. Though after doing the research I do about anything I'm interested in; I found out that many God fearing people in the Bible had the same personality as me.

God has a plan for all of us. Every last thing that happens in of our lives is some how persuaded by God. Whether to make a change or to not make a change he's always there in some way. Maybe God has brought me a realist personlailty because I'm going to leave soon and become my own man; and this might be the personality I need to further Gods kingdom when I'm out on my own.

What ever the reason though, I pray that it'll be used for Gods glory forever and ever...

AMEN.

Vision Birthed from a Wandering Mind

2008-03-24T21:04:00.000-07:00

Today during my daily ritual of T.A.G. time (or as some would pronounce it T.A.W.G. time) I had a vision birthed from a wandering mind. As some of my reader's may know, I have been following a "read the Bible in a year" program. Which my pastor purchased for me following an inspiring presentation conveyed by Wayne Cordero. Generally speaking I'm enthused to jump into a pool of history; lately though my efforts towards curiosity have been far less then hoped. The culprit for this heinously low level of interest is none other then Moses.

Now don't get me wrong I love the guy, but he just had to record every last detail of every last detail. Reading some parts of the Torah to me, is just outright painful. It's like walking uphill pulling a "ball and chain" with no shoes on. I believe that I have a high tolerance for patients when it come to learning and growing; however the latter three books of the Torah just bring me to my knees.

That being said you can probably guess why my mind was wandering in all sorts of directions while reading the Bible. This time my mind wasn't skimming through my day or my to do list. This time I had a vision that shames my previous naive like personality and previewed me to a proverb of wisdom through experience.

This vision was of a man walking down the street wearing a green shirt with a collar. He was well groomed and stood up straight (the type of man a girl could take home to dad without fear). Yet almost instantly after this man appeared to me in said vision, the vision shifted to another scene of that same man yelling in a family setting. This man was screaming at the top of his lungs at kids and his wife over heaven knows what.

This mind made proverb is a testament to my old ways of trusting people before I get to know them. I use to have trouble with "innocent until proven guilty", instead of "guilty until proven innocent". Now obviously there is a medium but the latter is the way for me to go now. I don't know why I had that vision, but what I do know is that I asked God for wisdom while reading his word. He definitely gave it to me just not the way I expected. Most people think that if they pray to receive wisdom while reading God's word, they will read something that will speak to them greatly. Sometimes that is the case; however this time God spoke to me through a vision while reading his word.

Gos works in mysterious way, the smallest whisper could be left ignored. Always listen, always search and always find; even when it's not what you were looking for.

One or the Other

2008-02-13T17:44:00.000-08:00

I have recently found out that, I cannot please everyone I seek admiration from, or love from. Wether it be my peers, or my superiors; I cannot remain in my present state of emotion and heart if I have a desire to please them all.

I must have believed that If I were to harden my heart, my leaders at school would give me compliments and would gain respect for me. That was the truth, they did, but the cost was more then I could bare. One of the first things to be affected by my hardening of my heart, was my state of independence, from people, and from God.

Yes, when I was insulted, I didn't hurt. Yes when many people left me, I didn't care. The feeling though of being completely alone and second guessing my faith was to much for the heart to take in. I don't really know what happened as of late; but those feeling by the grace of God was relived.

And yes know when people make fun of me, it hurts me, it hurts me a lot. My teachers don't respect me as much because "I'm not made of steel". But I have learned from this experience that it doesn't matter what they think. I have learned that my only goal in this life, is to lead people to Jesus. And too love and praise Jesus with all my heart.

It seems that every time I stray from God, when I come back, I come back five fold. Five times as more spiritually mature and five times more in love with God. I prayer to Jesus everyday to never let the fire in my heart dim.

I learned from my youth pastor that being real with God during prayer is an amazing experience. It truly is, their is nothing more reiterating then to pray to Jesus as if I was talking to an earthy father. To just say, "Jesus I can't make it through today without you, I need you to protect me because I just can't do it alone".

"I just can't do it alone, I need you..." "I love you."

My "Binding and Loosing"

2008-01-18T16:49:00.000-08:00

In Luke chapter seventeen Jesus talks about how there is always going to be temptation in this world. He speaks of a metaphor directed towards any who does tempting. He says "It would be better to be thrown into a sea with a large millstone tied around your neck then to face the punishment in store for harming one of these little ones". I'm not sure, but I think Jesus is referring to "little ones" as people who have little faith in God.

There was one verse in this chapter that really stuck out to me, to the point where I did some reflection and serious thinking to what it meant. The verse reads "You won't be able to say, 'here it is' or 'It's over there!' For the Kingdom of God is among you." Now the part of this verse that got me thinking was "for the kingdom of God is among you". That created the question in me as to, why would this earthly, sinful world be God's kingdom?

Why wouldn't Jesus refer to earth as earth, and heaven as Gods kingdom? So after a few minutes of thought; the answer hit like a train. The reason why Jesus refers to earth being God's kingdom, is because God created it. He created all things, the heaven and the earth, the moon and the stars.

Then that answer brought me to another realization.

Since God created all things, and the earth is a part his kingdom, then that means that it's of holy creation. The trees in the parks and the birds flying in the air, they're all part holy because God created them, and they are a part of his kingdom. Now next time I walk down the street and see someone; that I may be quick to judge toward, I am going to try to stop and think for a moment.

I will think of how even though in my earthly eyes, his or hers appearance may questionable; that person still haa been touched by the hand of God. God created humans, so all humans have been touched by God . Therefore we all have a small amount of holiness to us, but what we have to remember, is that it's not ours. It's God's. By his holiness that lives within us we have privilege to be able to have a relationship with him; because a part of him is in us as well, a family.

Worry

2008-01-12T20:47:00.001-08:00

Worry this and worry that, why worry? Why does my mind set back into this trap of worry while the dwindling light of hope grows weary?

God never fails to pull me out when I'm in need, he never fails to show me that I can't handle worrying about tomorrow. For tomorrow hasn't come nor its troubles.

I find day by day though I fall into to phases and temptations, the Lord my God will always support and pull me out.

The Narrow Way

2008-01-12T18:55:00.000-08:00

Oceans fill the sunset rises, the man walks creeping through the rites to which once was. The lady falls into a deep sleep hoping for a sign, a beacon of hope to walk, to push towards. Signs of darkness slip into to the minuscule lines between each flaw of our minds. Flawed or flawless what is logic?

Unanswered Questions

2008-01-11T23:16:00.000-08:00

My life reflected shows little, why? Why does the man who works with hands of labor tend to sway with the winds of reality? Why does the women who speaks her mind become out casted in a dose of closed mindedness surrounding.

Questions run through my mind like fish swim through a river. The poltergeist of my fears are always chasing me. The evil one uses it as his attack. He's smart, but my defence is smarter. Through my love and prayer I will seek and find. I will love and forgive. I will cry, and I will cause tears.

The reality is to much for one soul to bare, the reality that life and people at the core, are evil. Since near the beginning of time, we have commited sins and obeyed evil desires. Why?

The Unknown

2007-12-04T22:25:00.000-08:00

Through coasts unknown and valleys high, we see our shadows eye to eye.

When they fall, will we see, what our lives our hoped to be?

When the dagger comes, with piercing blade, through the flesh and out the way, will we see our dismay?

The question I leave you is but an answer in disguise, will we ever know what will make our demise?

Isolations Confession

2007-11-25T22:14:00.000-08:00

I always find it frustrating and agitating when I always now that everything that happens to me is of Gods will. I know that everything happens for a reason, I know that God provide everything last thing I need to live and be his child. Yet Satan always find some backdoor that I seemed to overlook. Lord I know your always there for me, I know that I am your baby steadfast within locked arms. Why am I crying, why when you shh me and say everything is going to be alright, I continue to cry? Have I not learned that every step that I take, it's nothing without you? Have I not perceived with these I eyes that you are the almighty God of Heaven and earth?

I have perceived, I have learned. Why must every attempt to strive to live as your you beloved son, gets struck down with tempted anger and fury. I know that the only way to make it Lord, is to hold your hand. I know that the only way I can grow up is for you to raise me.

Its so hard lord, on the verge of tears I confess to you.

I can't make it alone!

I love you so much, your the only reason why I'm alive. Your the reason that I'm able to live in this world and of it. I can never express how much you love me and my bothers and sisters that live here in this earth. Lord I surrender my heart to you, do what will, let your will be done. The only request I'm could ever gather in pure humbleness, is to make better son. A better man, a better friend.

Jesus you know what its like to to be betrayed by someone close, to have the world turn its back on you. I have lost but one close to me and it's as if the worlds turn its back on me. The only reason I continue to get out of bed in the morning, is because my father went though but a mere morsel of the pain that I've experienced. He overcame it, and by his grace and love he provides I'll be able to overcome as he.

"Lord, let my mind and earthly body always know that I'm am loved, through the pain and feelings of isolation and betrayal, give me a blanket to keep me warm and a kiss on check. Remind me it will be okay and that this world will soon pass. I love you Jesus. AMEN"

My Youth Pastor

2007-11-22T18:55:00.000-08:00

It's impossible to explain my admiration for my youth pastor, but I will do my best.

A little more then a year ago, I met this guy named Ben. At the time I was not "on top" of my spiritual walk with Christ. And as time went by our youth group was pretty much the same as when my previous youth pastor was running it. But then one day I was speaking for a communion thought at my church, and Ben asked me if I wanted to go out to eat at a restaurant. I answered yes with haste, I was really excited yet kind of nervous, I didn't really know what to expect. Day by day went by until the time finally arrived.

We went out to eat, and right at that moment, one of the closest relationships in my life began to form. From then on we started meeting every week to talk about life issues and problems/struggles that was going on in my life at the time. He taught me about tons of different ways to deal with the things that where happening during each of the period of my life.

No matter how much I screwed up, or how big of a problem I created Ben is always there with a smile a compassionate hand to help me fix it. When there was a habit I couldn't give up, or a temptation that just seem to strong to ever say no too, Ben gave me the strength, wisdom and advice I needed to become free from them.

The amount of love he shows to me is beyond comprehension, I would be in such a bad mess of a life if it wasn't for Ben, always being there to nurture me and be a father figure to me. My father did drugs so he and my mother got a divorce when I was eleven. So my biological father has been gone for a good portion of my childhood. I know God must have looked down from heaven and saw the vacant hole that has left my heart that my biological once filled, then he looked at Ben and saw that Ben's love was a better fit.... He was right

Every trial, pain and temptation that I have faced, I have never had to face it alone. He's the only person I know that would wake up at three in the morning to help me with a temptation I couldn't shake, or to offer me comfort if was pain. Because of my Lord and Ben I have been molded into the young man I am right now. I'm eternally grateful for the sacrifices that Ben has made for me. I love him as much as a child ever loved a father.

"Lord I pray that you will always be with Ben as he leads me and the whole youth group, Lord give him the strength and love he needs to always be there for his student, in your name I prayer, AMEN."

My Hearts Cry

2007-11-22T18:45:00.000-08:00

If I have one wish, it would be to hold a friend during the tears. To be the shoulder to cry on, and to offer advice on the cause of pain. As I walk I will always be the man who you can cry next to, who you can vent on, who you can count on. Through trails, pain, misery, struggles and heartache, I will always be here. I will hold your hand if sorrows are coming from all around, I hug you if trembling with fear. During all times of the day and night, I will always be here, to all of you who know me, I am here for you. No matter how big or how small the problem.

Gaining Wisdom

2007-11-22T17:55:00.000-08:00

I have recently found out even better the ways the "evil one" tries to attack the heart. It's so unfair, every time I think I'm free from temptation, he appears in front of me with a disgusting half grin. It seem my every attempt to grow in the Lord just angers him more and more. I know it does, I will not let him win this time though. I will by the grace and strength of Jesus my Lord and Savior, be free from his bondage. No more will I look at a trap set out by him and let ignorance cover my eyes. Spiritual eyes will replace these earthly pieces of flesh, and I will see the foolishness in my prior acts of youth.

"Lord I prayer that you will give me the strength i need to always have my heart set on you, hold me and protect me from Satan's tricks, and thank you that I'm able to talk to you any time and any places I like, in your name I prayer, AMEN.

A Spirtual Enlightment

2007-11-18T15:14:00.000-08:00

Proverbs 4:23-25 - "Guard your heart above all else, for it determines the course of your life. Avoid all perverse talk; stay away from corrupt speech. Look straight ahead, and fix your eyes on what lies before you. Mark out a straight path for your feet; stay on the safe path".

One night about a week ago, you would find me sitting cross-cross-applesauce fashion on top of my white sheeted bed. As such I began to reach the conclusion of my previously set amount of chapters to have read in my Bible. As I finished reading the last word, yet I felt compelled after the procession of intent reading, that God wanted me to read further. I obeyed the twinkle of spiritual restlessness within my soul and turned the thin pages.

The first words that my eyes quickly grasped and brought into my being was "avoid all perverse talk; stay away from corrupt speech".

Previously I have been struggling with negative influences that attack my sensitive moral. Sources of these influences were were mainly peers and acquaintances. I was at the verge of becoming extremely agitated with the ignorance that youth has bestowed me. So many questions conjured within my head as to the finding resolution of this proprietary phenomena.

Yet by the grace and unfathomable love of my father, he gave me a gift of wisdom that I pray will never stale or without gratitude. By one sentence spoken from my father to me, a section of my spiritual walk was instantaneously revived of its ignorant nature. Though ignorance to a variety of extents will always remain embedded inside of us, we can call on the lord Jesus Christ to light the path that leads us home.

Teenage Ignorance

2007-11-17T19:26:00.000-08:00

Sexual temptation is one of the biggest challenges our teenagers our facing today. But who can blame them, every channel that we turn to, every website we upload and every where we turn there is some pro-promiscuous message to be obtained. Weather it be a subliminal or conscience expression, our youth our being driven in. Why is it like this? Why must everywhere we look be a pair of legs showing, or cleavage with a sign saying "look at me"?

These incidents that occur every second are constantly adding to our teenagers sex drives. We wonder why pre-marital sex and abortion statistics are rising all the time. It is because our teenagers are not being properly raised and or not given the right tools to survive in a world of lust. Now this is not there fault, lots of today's youth don't understand that sex before marriage is bad. They perceive actors in a major motion pictures have sex, without consequence, which then becomes instilled in their brains that sex is okay, and that it comes without consequence.

The perverse blood thirsty corporations who's only projected customer are ignorant male sex drives, purely on the basis to conjugate a wealthy sum of money, just makes me sick. I can't even express in word how much a young man who thinks a relationship is a one night stand, completely and utterly makes me feel like there no hope for our youth.

If you read this article and you are a teenager, I pray that you will take a stand against lust and sexual immorality. I challenge you to be a rebel and go against what your friends are doing, or what multimedia companies are saying you should look at. Rise above the ignorance of sexual lust and pre-martial sex.

The worlds tough, are you ready?

FDR "Infamy" Speech

2007-11-17T16:25:00.000-08:00

Yesterday - December 8th, 1941 president Franklin D. Roosevelt spoke to congress about "a date which will live in infamy." After the previous attacks on the Pearl Harbor, FDR asked congress to declare a state of war. Starting with a speech at 12:30pm, the day then was surely ended with a signed declaration of war by 4:00pm. The belligerent yet heart-warming words spoken that afternoon will not be soon forgotten. The fear that must have lingered in Emperor Hirohito spine, when he heard the words of our commander-in-chief yesterday is unimaginable. The United States will avenge the outrages that took place at Pearl Harbor, we will procure victory once again.